Dear returning Carmageddon fans
These last years, the CWA Board assimilated what was archived from many old Carmageddon forums, including the whole of the Official Carmageddon.com Forums.
If you wish to merge any previous account you might have had with your new or existing CWA account, don't hesitate to reach out to us !
These last years, the CWA Board assimilated what was archived from many old Carmageddon forums, including the whole of the Official Carmageddon.com Forums.
If you wish to merge any previous account you might have had with your new or existing CWA account, don't hesitate to reach out to us !
Henry Ford R.I.P.
- D. Capitator
- mechanic
- Posts: 37
- Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2004 3:08 am
Henry Ford R.I.P.
When Henry Ford died and went to Heaven , St. Peter
greeted him at the pearly gates.
After welcoming Ford , St. Peter told him , "Well you've
been a good man , and your invention , the automobile
assembly line , helped change the world ." "As a reward , you
can ask anyone in Heaven , any question you want . "
Ford thought about it and said " I'd like to ask God himself
a question." So St. Peter escorted him to the throne room
and introduced him to God . Ford asked God " When you invented
women, what were you thinking ? " God then replied, " What
do you mean ? " " Well ," said Ford " You have major design
flaws in your invention."
For instance :
1. Theres too much front end protrusion.
2. It chatters too much at any speed.
3. Maintenence is extremely high.
4. It constantly needs touching up and refinishing.
5. It is out of commission 5 or 6 days per month.
6. The headlights are usually too small.
8. And fuel consumption is outrageous, just to name a few
"Hmmmm" , replied God " Hold on a minute ."
God went to the celestial supercomputer, typed in a few
keystrokes , and waited for the results.
In no time the computer printed a report.
God read it , turned to Ford and said ," My invention may be
flawed , but according to these statistics , more men are riding
my invention than yours ! "
- The_Devils_Avocado
- motorised death
- Posts: 1091
- Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 4:00 pm
Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.
Hehe, not bad.
I'd post a joke too but i don't have any that are worth the effort =/
I'd post a joke too but i don't have any that are worth the effort =/
- Evil Blarg
- road raged psycho
- Posts: 1484
- Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2004 7:56 pm
- Location: Holland...? I'M IN HOLLAND?!
Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.
That's funny. I might post a little God joke later, if I remember to.
If I think mine's worth the post.
If I think mine's worth the post.
Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.
confucious says:
Man with hole in pocket
feel cocky all day.
Man with hole in pocket
feel cocky all day.
Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.
So Mother Teresa Dies and goes to heaven. She walking around seeing all the good people up there. She comes across Princess Di. So Mother Teresa says to herself, Princess Di is a great lady, she helpled alot people and did alot of good things on Earth, she deserves to be here.
But Mother Teresa notices Princess Di has a bigger halo than she does, so she thinks, you know she is a good person, she did help alot of people, but I did aloooot more, I deserve the bigger halo.
So Mother Teresa decides to ask St. Peter about it. So she goes up to St. Peter and tells him, "St Peter, I know Princess Di belongs up here and I know she is a good person and that she helpled alot of people, but I did tons more on Earth and I think I desrve the bigger halo!!!"
St. Peter tells Mother Teresa," Shh, don't stare, thats not a halo, it a steering wheel!!!"
I'm going to hell for this one.
But Mother Teresa notices Princess Di has a bigger halo than she does, so she thinks, you know she is a good person, she did help alot of people, but I did aloooot more, I deserve the bigger halo.
So Mother Teresa decides to ask St. Peter about it. So she goes up to St. Peter and tells him, "St Peter, I know Princess Di belongs up here and I know she is a good person and that she helpled alot of people, but I did tons more on Earth and I think I desrve the bigger halo!!!"
St. Peter tells Mother Teresa," Shh, don't stare, thats not a halo, it a steering wheel!!!"
I'm going to hell for this one.
- The_Devils_Avocado
- motorised death
- Posts: 1091
- Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 4:00 pm
Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.
yeah i've heard that one once or twice in different forms
i'm goin to hell too
i'm goin to hell too
Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.
I LIKE that!!
***When I die may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline***
- Powdered Toast MAAAN!!
- 12 Cyl Symphony
- Posts: 1277
- Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2000 4:00 pm
Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.
People who live in glass houses...
...should change clothes in the basement.
And, "man who walk sideways through airplane door is going to bangkok".
...should change clothes in the basement.
And, "man who walk sideways through airplane door is going to bangkok".
- Evil Blarg
- road raged psycho
- Posts: 1484
- Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2004 7:56 pm
- Location: Holland...? I'M IN HOLLAND?!
Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.
Oh fine, I'll join in.
British General addressing Australian troops: "Did you come here to die?"
"Nah mate, we came here yester-die!"
THE GOOD THE BAD THE UGLY
Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Ugly: You're in them
Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross dresser
Ugly: He looks better than you
Good: Your son's finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you
Good: Your having sex
Bad: The dog came in the room and licked your butt
Ugly: You liked it
Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With corrections
Good: Your wife's not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Ugly: She's a lawyer
Good: The postman's early
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas
Okay. Drool over those gems for a bit while I go and dig through my old stuf for more.
British General addressing Australian troops: "Did you come here to die?"
"Nah mate, we came here yester-die!"
THE GOOD THE BAD THE UGLY
Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Ugly: You're in them
Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He's a cross dresser
Ugly: He looks better than you
Good: Your son's finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you
Good: Your having sex
Bad: The dog came in the room and licked your butt
Ugly: You liked it
Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting
Ugly: With corrections
Good: Your wife's not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Ugly: She's a lawyer
Good: The postman's early
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas
Okay. Drool over those gems for a bit while I go and dig through my old stuf for more.
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