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These last years, the CWA Board assimilated what was archived from many old Carmageddon forums, including the whole of the Official Carmageddon.com Forums.
If you wish to merge any previous account you might have had with your new or existing CWA account, don't hesitate to reach out to us !

Henry Ford R.I.P.

For everything that doesn't belong elsewhere.
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D. Capitator
mechanic
Posts: 37
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2004 3:08 am

Henry Ford R.I.P.

Post by D. Capitator »


When Henry Ford died and went to Heaven , St. Peter

greeted him at the pearly gates.

After welcoming Ford , St. Peter told him , "Well you've

been a good man , and your invention , the automobile

assembly line , helped change the world ." "As a reward , you

can ask anyone in Heaven , any question you want . "

Ford thought about it and said " I'd like to ask God himself

a question." So St. Peter escorted him to the throne room

and introduced him to God . Ford asked God " When you invented

women, what were you thinking ? " God then replied, " What

do you mean ? " " Well ," said Ford " You have major design

flaws in your invention."

For instance :

1. Theres too much front end protrusion.

2. It chatters too much at any speed.

3. Maintenence is extremely high.

4. It constantly needs touching up and refinishing.

5. It is out of commission 5 or 6 days per month.

6. The headlights are usually too small.

8. And fuel consumption is outrageous, just to name a few

"Hmmmm" , replied God " Hold on a minute ."

God went to the celestial supercomputer, typed in a few

keystrokes , and waited for the results.

In no time the computer printed a report.

God read it , turned to Ford and said ," My invention may be

flawed , but according to these statistics , more men are riding

my invention than yours ! " :beer:







User avatar
The_Devils_Avocado
motorised death
Posts: 1091
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 4:00 pm

Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.

Post by The_Devils_Avocado »

Hehe, not bad.

I'd post a joke too but i don't have any that are worth the effort =/
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Evil Blarg
road raged psycho
Posts: 1484
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2004 7:56 pm
Location: Holland...? I'M IN HOLLAND?!

Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.

Post by Evil Blarg »

That's funny. I might post a little God joke later, if I remember to.

If I think mine's worth the post.
User avatar
toroid
hit n run
Posts: 178
Joined: Fri Jun 16, 2000 4:00 pm

Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.

Post by toroid »

confucious says:

Man with hole in pocket

feel cocky all day.

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JiminyJam
pedestrian
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2004 8:27 pm

Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.

Post by JiminyJam »

So Mother Teresa Dies and goes to heaven. She walking around seeing all the good people up there. She comes across Princess Di. So Mother Teresa says to herself, Princess Di is a great lady, she helpled alot people and did alot of good things on Earth, she deserves to be here.

But Mother Teresa notices Princess Di has a bigger halo than she does, so she thinks, you know she is a good person, she did help alot of people, but I did aloooot more, I deserve the bigger halo.

So Mother Teresa decides to ask St. Peter about it. So she goes up to St. Peter and tells him, "St Peter, I know Princess Di belongs up here and I know she is a good person and that she helpled alot of people, but I did tons more on Earth and I think I desrve the bigger halo!!!"

St. Peter tells Mother Teresa," Shh, don't stare, thats not a halo, it a steering wheel!!!"



I'm going to hell for this one.
User avatar
The_Devils_Avocado
motorised death
Posts: 1091
Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2002 4:00 pm

Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.

Post by The_Devils_Avocado »

yeah i've heard that one once or twice in different forms :grin:

i'm goin to hell too :suicide:
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Qwerty_86
kill boss
Posts: 1669
Joined: Sun Oct 20, 2002 4:00 pm
Location: USA
Contact:

Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.

Post by Qwerty_86 »

The first joke was the funniest.
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Deep_Blue
Road Puppy
Posts: 4554
Joined: Wed Jan 10, 2001 12:00 pm
Location: In the Wind

Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.

Post by Deep_Blue »

:rofl: :rofl: :supercrazy: :rofl:

I LIKE that!!
***When I die may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline***
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Powdered Toast MAAAN!!
12 Cyl Symphony
Posts: 1277
Joined: Wed Aug 09, 2000 4:00 pm

Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.

Post by Powdered Toast MAAAN!! »

People who live in glass houses...

...should change clothes in the basement.

And, "man who walk sideways through airplane door is going to bangkok".
User avatar
Evil Blarg
road raged psycho
Posts: 1484
Joined: Fri Jan 23, 2004 7:56 pm
Location: Holland...? I'M IN HOLLAND?!

Re: Henry Ford R.I.P.

Post by Evil Blarg »

Oh fine, I'll join in.

British General addressing Australian troops: "Did you come here to die?"

"Nah mate, we came here yester-die!"

THE GOOD THE BAD THE UGLY

Good: Your hubby and you agree, no more kids

Bad: You can't find your birth control pills

Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them

Good: Your son studies a lot in his room

Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there

Ugly: You're in them

Good: Your husband understands fashion

Bad: He's a cross dresser

Ugly: He looks better than you

Good: Your son's finally maturing

Bad: He's involved with the woman next door

Ugly: So are you

Good: Your having sex

Bad: The dog came in the room and licked your butt

Ugly: You liked it

Good: You give the birds and bees talk to your daughter

Bad: She keeps interrupting

Ugly: With corrections

Good: Your wife's not talking to you

Bad: She wants a divorce

Ugly: She's a lawyer

Good: The postman's early

Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying an AK47

Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas

Okay. Drool over those gems for a bit while I go and dig through my old stuf for more.
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